Motherhood as an introvert is hard, messy, and overwhelming. As a mother of a toddler who clings has a special bond with her mom (yes I put that striked word there on purpose.), I understand. Today, my daughter was not eating her lunch, and she was crying, making those moments feel like each second was an hour long (okay maybe not that bad, but you know what I mean). Honestly, if there is a mom out there who does not think it is hard, messy, or overwhelming, I give so much power and credit to them! After practicing a few techniques, I felt so much more relieved. Here are a few tips I took which helped the situation. Hopefully you can use the same ones the next time your child is crying or having a temper tantrum.
1. Make sure your child is safe and walk away.
- If you are alone with your child, put your child in a safe place. Depending on his or her age, you can put them in a crib, pack and play, or another room.
- If your significant other is around, ask him/her to take over while you destress
2. Take a few minutes to mindfully breathe. This means to concentrate on your breaths. Take a deep breath in and concentrate on the motion of breathing in. Take a deep breath out and concentrate on the motion of breathing out. Try and do this for a few minutes (possibly 3-5 minutes if you need).
3. Say some positive affirmations. As you continue to say these in your head, you will start to change your mindset and perspective. By doing this, you both distract your brain, and rewire your brain to focus on the positive, rather than the negative.
4. Remember those few minutes do not define who you are . It may be hard not to feel guilty, especially if you screamed at your child, or did not practice positive parenting BUT REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HUMAN. Everyone make mistakes. As introverted moms, unfortunately we have less patience when there are too many noises and too much is going on. It does not mean we are not good Moms. It just means we need more time for self-care. We need more time to maintain our mental and emotional cup.
5. Go back to your child and try again. Say sorry to your child. Your child may or may not be old enough to talk or fully understand what that means, but as they get older, they will quickly learn empathy and feelings. They will learn that their mom is not perfect, but she is perfect in her imperfection.
6. When you get a chance, practice some more self-care. Self-care is important to refill your cup so you can be the loving, nurturing mother that you are. For more information on ways to practice self care, click here for an article of different types of self-care.
Remember, we are not perfect. By showing your flaws and expressing vulnerability to your child, your bond with your child will be even deeper and more meaningful.
Please let me know if you have any other tips or tricks when you are in the middle of your child crying or throwing a temper tantrum. Would love to hear from another parent!
Sending you love and light on your journey,